Jury Service (Non Flesh & Bone)

I made a vow to myself that I wouldn't make non-pertinant entries anymore but my spirit is too strong to be broken. I realised yester eve that I hadn't reflected much in terms of word nor line on my jury service time a couple of munf back. So, to write those wrongs (guilty!) here's a top 3 list of things wot people in the dock sed, in descending order of greatness,

3 - fat poss drunk landlord man referring to the man who rented his property (and stood accused of growing a heroic dose of hydrophonixxx in three houses in bolton, "cannabis farms" no less) as "the oriental gentleman" about a thousand times, triple cringe!!!

2 - 'orrible denim clad orange faced Macca who was accused of threatening someone with a fake gat, describing his whereabouts on the night of the halleged incident, he'd had a few cans - the prosecuting lawyer (blind by the way, awesome) quizzed him on how many "a few cans" was, to which he replied...just a few, four or five. He followed up that classic with, "just had some beers, got back home, HAD MY RITUAL POT NOODLE and went to bed". Hold up! Reeeewind, ritual WHAT noodle? Advice for Macca in the future, don't look at and address "the ladies" in the jury, for instance if you're saying "believe it or not, LADIES, I get more action dressed as a woman than a man", which you did say dintcha! wot a wanka!

1 - ropey also pissed woman who was bringin' the case to Macca for fake gun fun answered at one point when being harangued by the lawyer with "Yeah but you did do that though DIDN'T YOU" type questioning, "Yeah, You're right. I made it all up...NOT!" Luckily the judge was au fait with the ...NOT jokes kids use these days. Sarcasm ain't dead baby!

Flesh and Bone to follow in about an hour, then back to normal service tomorrow...NOT! Only joking, really it is.

Again!

The earliest Thursday post for considerable time, I'm off to Sheffield that's why. It's my sister Roxanne's birthday, rejoice! I predict a buffet. Flesh & Bone both work bank holidays so it's normal service as usual on Monday, shibby!

Yes We Can

Monday's child is full of food, Thursday's child is more of the same? Find out Thursday, Thurbert!

No More No More No More No More

No, more next week!

SEE YA!

TTYN

Sofa Surfers of the World Unite

Hiiiiii Perry!

What it do

For all of those thinking this has turned in to the Flesh and Bonetta show, Bone AKA The Bonernator AKA The Bone Collector AKA Boney Wilson AKA Boney M AKA The Boneyard will be back on Thursday. Think on...

To Tha Curb

Sweet Monday next stop my moon units

TRISTAN!

Diaryia

M-m-m-m-m-monday

S'YEAH!

Thirsty for Thursday? Tues-should be, Mon

Sass from the Past

See you on Monday

Click

Happy 50th Flesh & Bone to me, happy 50th Flesh & Bone to meee, happy 50th Flesh & Bone to mee-eeee, Happy 50th Flesh & Bone to me. Celebrating it with a night blog, twilight express. Shouldn't you be watching Big Brother? Shouldn't I be watching Big Brother?

Dearest Bonetta

A Shared Interest

C H E C K B A C H T H U R S D A Y !

Dude, that's my sister

More on Monday!

Sister Sister

Scanner crisis? What scanner crisis? This strip goes out to my techno cybernauts at Maplin(s?), they saw me coming and ripped me right on! The doubters said it wouldn't be the power supply that was the problem but here comes the swagger of a champion and he's carrying a new plug in his hand. If you ever wonder, like I did today, is there such thing as a plug testing service? Yes there is. Doth this paragraph reek of damp for thee detail so drab? No it doesn't. Play on!

Gift hamper appeal - Please send your unwanted caffeine pills, lucozade alerts and digestive biccies to Maplin Krew, Stockport.

P.S. NEW FnB on THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.P.S. Is it too late to change the title of the entry below to "A Scanner Darkly"?
P.P.S. My favourite bloggites have been busy, check Comfortable on a Tightrope and Nick Ainsworth's key fob blog or die tryin' - links to tha right -->

Thanks for nothing

OK, so no Flesh & Bone today. Not because I didn't do it, because I did. But because the scanner here is busted, it ain't got no power in it! Shit stain! What am I going to do?? WAHHHH!! The regular weekly updates were gathering so much momentum too, spannered after one week. Gonna reinvent the wheel and try get things back on track ASAP. Money for a new scanner anyone?

Goodbye cruel world

Credit Crunch

Tune in on Monday for more fresh Flesh & Bone!

Foody Filmic

Three month drought slump drump, forget that. We're back on the track, Flesh and Bone two times a week from this day forth - MONDAYS and THURSDAYS. Check back for regulars. Click the strip to see it bigger, as evers.

Yummy Mummies

KNOCK KNOCK

50th entry, 42nd flesh and bone. That means 8 non-pertinent posts. Make of that what you will, I know I will. As ever, click the small strip to make it a big strip.

Stripes

The new influence

from the get up to the get down, it's all there

Fun at Forty

no.40 of the flesh and bone franchise, that most famous of all landmarks. the big four oh!

Dogpile

Quids in

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you, without a dope beat to step to, step to, step to, fricka fricka, step to, step to, RIP Aaliyah

two thousand and nine and i'm feeling fine, more f & b in the pipe line

Piss Statements

Above, a thing for a thing. Something of a cork in the hole to pass time til next week's new flesh & bones, not got the time this week...my schedule is stacked! Stacked like the pile of at least 7 pocket scraps with words, feelings and beyond (or back) sat chilling in my room. I say chilling because it's like a meal preparation see, you gotta keep the ingreds in the fridge before you make a dish because otherwise you get half-baked ideas and gone off prawns. I'm tipping that bird today to get some stuff off my chest tho, this was going to be a future piece but i'm bringing it out as a sketch - hot on the outside, frozen in the middle.

"PISS STATEMENTS"

I'm pissed at the world for pissing on my chips

Wouldn't cross the street to watch you piss in a teacup

I'm so pissed off

I pissed it up the wall

Left a lanky streak of piss

Yep I piss on the street

Yep I piss on the seat

I'm a piss artiste

Pissing on bonfires

Pissed on beer

Pissed to meet you, what's your nime?

F it